Sex Toy 101

Okay guys, here’s a brief lesson on buying sex toys. If you are looking to buy your partner a sex toy for the first time, there are some things you should probably know. First of all, don’t be afraid of going into a sex shop and asking for help. After all, a sex toy can bring a lot of excitement and fun to any relationship. But it’s better to be a little embarrassed with a knowledgeable sales clerk that can answer your questions than come home with a 20-inch fist that your partner is supposed to stick…where?!?

Speed
A vibrator with variable speed can change a woman’s sex life. While some come with one speed, on or off, a good vibrator will come with a variable speed setting so that your partner can control the amount of warm fuzzy feelings they want to have at any given time. These types of vibrators will likely use battery power faster, so be prepared to include a large package of batteries with each sex toy purchase. Nothing sucks more than opening a present and then not being able to use it right away. I’ve been told by sex toy sales staff that when it comes to buying batteries, it’s actually better to buy the cheap no-name kind. Apparently these weaker batteries will be less likely to blow the small engine on a vibrator, something you can run the risk of doing during any use, particularly if the vibrator is on high speed much of the time.

Size
Despite the old adage that “size matters,” it might not matter in the way you think it does. Sixteen inch cocks really aren’t cool. After all, there is only so and so much room for these things in any female orifice, and sometimes it just stops feeling good. Some of the best and most versatile sex toys are small egg-shaped vibrators that a person can cup in the palm of their hand and apply to erogenous areas. In fact, sometimes it can be the little things that matter most. There are texturized rubber sleeves that you can buy that go over a small dildo or finger, providing different types of simulation.

Color
Now this might sound a little stupid, but there are reasons that many sex toys come in a variety of bright colors. Sometimes it’s a little disconcerting to be confronted with a disembodied penis, so if it’s pink or blue, it seems a little less alarming. One of my friends has told me that she would never buy a dildo or vibrator that was imitating any shade of flesh. Who wants to have a vein-covered cock hidden away in their bedside drawer when they could have a nice pink strawberry scented toy?

Texture
Depending on the toy, texture really matters. If you are buying a dildo or vibrator, you will need to choose between those made of hard or soft material. Dildos made of hard plastic can be uncomfortable, so make sure you are aware of your partner’s needs beforehand. Latex toys can be much more comfortable. Some hard toys, like vibrating eggs, come with a “cyber-skin” covering meant to ensure comfort. You should really consider getting a softer toy if you are using it for anal insertion, for reasons all too obvious.

Lubricant
An easy way to break into using sex toys in a relationship is to start with something simple like lubricant. A good sex store will have as many different kinds of lubricant as they do dildos. Before you purchase any, find out more about them. Many lubricants are scented which is nice, but can also cause problems is the scent is overpowering. Also, find out if the lubricant is water or oil based, depending on your use. Some people would prefer not to get a mouthful of oily lube while pleasuring their partner, so take this into consideration. Lastly, find out if the lubricant does anything. By this I mean does the lubricant heat up when used? Some heat up with friction, while others heat up with a little blow from a lover’s mouth, which can be very pleasurable. Is the lubricant edible? While it might still taste a little gross to have it in your mouth, is it safe to use in this way? Having a bottle of lubricant on hand is a safe and sexy way to induce a little foreplay, and is well worth the price—ask any woman.

Don’t be cheap
There are a plethora of crappy sex toys out there, but if you want to get one that is any good and will last longer than one night, don’t buy the items off the clearance table. They either don’t work properly or have been proven to not bring orgasms, a fatal flaw of any sex toy. And, don’t go looking for any used sex toy sales. In a recent advice column I read, a person was asking if there was a place to buy and sell used sex toys. If you are this hard up for cash, give blood, sell cookies, do anything except try to pawn crusty, broken vibrators that have graced the inner depths of someone’s body. Giving the gift of better sex or easier masturbation isn’t that expensive anyway. You can buy a decent little vibrator for your partner for about $20.00.

Of course, this is only a brief introduction to the world of sex toys. You can also explore the world of bondage, butt plugs and leather, but I wouldn’t necessarily recommend starting with these things, particularly if your partner is a bit nervous about sex toys to begin with…