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How To Get Your Girlfriend to Move 'Downtown'
 I have recently been made aware that there is a certain kind of woman, one whom I guess in the back of my mind I always knew existed, but like Big Foot, you just have to see some things to really believe them. I was out with two girlfriends and a good male friend of ours showed up. Since we were already speaking very frankly about sex, he spoke up timidly to get our advice on something. It turns out that in his last two relationships (covering the span of the past 5 years), neither of his girlfriends was willing to give him a blow job. That’s right: two girls, five years, no blow jobs.
Once I picked myself up off the floor, a flurry of questions ensued: None? Like not even when you were courting? Like never? Not once? Seriously? Okay, they weren’t intelligent questions, but we were all in shock. When the table was surveyed, we reaffirmed for our friend that the majority of women enjoy giving blow jobs as much as men do receiving them. He was, understandably, starting to wonder.
When questioned further, he couldn’t give us a good reason why both his ex and his current girlfriend wouldn’t give the poor guy a blow job. The ex-girlfriend was the surprising one, to be honest. She was such a bitch that we always figured that she must be a star in the sack for him to have kept her around for so long. He stated that she wouldn’t go downtown because “she just wasn’t into that.” We searched for a possible reason: was he willing to go down on his girlfriends?
Yes, in fact he loved it, but was starting to resent his unrequited generosity in that department. Did he have a terrifyingly large or in any way deformed dick? No and no. Was he circumcised (this was more of a personal grooming issue than a religious one)? Yes, and he claimed to clean vigourously “down there” every chance he could. Who could blame him?
So, for all of our thoughtful questions, we could not come up with any reason why this poor guy was being deprived of his blow jobs. We turned to the girlfriend: had she had some sort of bad experience with giving blow jobs? Unknown. In the past, had she refused to give the blow job? No, but she just never quite made it down there. Let it be known that this male friend of ours had the patience of Job, but let’s all remember that all Job got for his pain was more of it.
So he asked our advice. Once we got over the fact that this poor guy hadn’t had a blow job in 5 years, we set to work teasing out the problem. Since the usual unspoken “give me a blow job” tit-for-tat agreement was clearly not working (he had stopped going down on her in some sort of silent passive-aggressive protest), we realized that he would have to break the cardinal guy rule and *gasp* talk to her about it. The reason for this was to find out if her reasons for not doing it were traumatic in any way. If they were not, we simply could not think of a reason why she would be this selfish in bed.
 As a nice guy, my friend had no idea how to bring it up. After mulling it over, we advised him that if he was going to talk about it, it should be when they are feeling close, like in the after glow (girls always want to talk, right? Why not put them in the hot seat for once?). We advised him that another good way to approach it was to open up a conversation about what she likes in bed and then hit her with what he likes. (That is another classic girl move, by the way: ask your mate about their needs as a way to bring up what you’re not getting.) Bringing it up in that context is a great way to open the floor up to her talking about why she doesn’t go down. She will have to have a reason because if she has never liked doing it, it certainly has come up before.
Now, what should he be prepared for? It is possible that she had a bad early experience in blow job department. We’ve all been with the head grabber or the thruster. Let’s face it, as powerful as giving a blow job is, there is always the distinct possibility that with an innocent thrust of the hips, you are going to make us gag. Add onto that the enthusiastic running of hands through our hair, and one shove could leave us with damaged vocal chords. If she has had a bad experience in this regard, then you are going to need to be patient in building her trust. Offer to let her tie your hands to the bed and swear that your hips will only move with her guidance.
It is also possible that she just doesn’t like going down because she thinks it’s gross. This is a shame, both for her and for you. Some chicks get hung up on the fact that you pee and come through the same hole and just can’t get into blow jobs for germophobic reasons. If her reasons are hygienic, suggest that she clean you very, very thoroughly in the shower and then give it a try.
Whatever her reasons for not going down on you, your best chance to make her come around is to not let her focus on what bothers her about it (although, you should hear her out and be sympathetic to her needs), but to stress for her the joy it brings to you. If her reluctance is fear from a bad experience, stress how powerful she is in the situation, and allow her to make you as powerless as she needs to feel safe. A man with both hands and feet tied to the bed is not a man capable of thrusting or grabbing.
If her reluctance is just a general distaste for the act, let her know that you don’t expect her to do it all the time, and you don’t relish the idea of asking her to do something that is unpleasant to her, but maybe make a deal with her that for every time she goes down on you, there will be a surprise awaiting her. Or a deal that when she goes down on you, you will then something that she likes. Do not fall into the trap of begging for it, however.
 Establish a deal so that she can’t back out of it and you don’t have to hound her for it. Don’t let her make you feel guilty about it. If she doesn’t want to do it, she doesn’t have to, but she shouldn’t wield it as a weapon to manipulate you or to humiliate you. If she does it despite her distaste for the act, don’t let her harp on it and make you feel badly about it. If she dislikes it to the point that she’s bitching about afterward, it might not be worth the hassle for you.
The best possible scenario is that she grows to like it, or at least tolerate it. Stress to her, both in your discussion and while she is doing it, that watching her turns you on, tell her how beautiful she looks, how you are putty in her hands, give all of the power to her. No matter how she feels about the act, making the person you love feel that good and knowing you are the one doing it is a powerful feeling.
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