Dr. Foreplay - Giving Head, Sex Drive
& Bisexuals

Dear Dr. Foreplay,
I don’t know if it is me or him, but it seems that my boyfriend would rather have me go down on him instead of having sex. Over the past year, the amount of sex we have has decreased dramatically and the amount of oral sex that I perform has increased. He begs for oral sex in the morning, when he gets home from work, and before bed. Then. when it comes to my needs, all I get are excuses. We have been dating for about two and a half years and used to have sex every day at the start of the relationship.These days, I am lucky if I get sex once every two weeks. He has never complained about sex being bad during any of our previous rendezvous, but maybe he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. I am also thinking that maybe he is getting sex elsewhere. Can a guy just lose total interest in sex all together, or is it something else? Please give me your advice because I am going crazy here.

Signed,
No More Head

Dear No More Head,
When it comes to sex and relationships, you must share the responsibilities of pleasing each other. What your boyfriend is doing is being selfish and lazy. By giving your boyfriend head all the time, be is getting the best of both worlds. He is not doing any of the work involved in intercourse but he is still getting off.

If you want to fix this problem, you need to stop giving him head and demand more from him sexually. When he gives you intercourse, you should give him head. It is all about equality here and if he is not doing his share of the work then neither should you.

Dear Dr. Foreplay,
It has been over three years since the last time that I have had sex, and I am starting to get sick of my wife’s lack of sex drive. I am 32 years old, have been married for the last four years and have two kids. I know people go through their dry spells, but this is ridiculous. When we first got married I was in heaven, now everything is gone. I tried everything to get the ball rolling again. Flowers, romantic dinners, and movies don’t seem to have any effect on her libido. I think I am an attractive guy and there are lots of girls that glance at me when I am out. I am tempted to just go out there and satisfy myself with these gorgeous women, but my conscience is not on my side. I need a quick fix to this major problem.

Signed,
Dry Spell

Dear Dry Spell,
Sorry to say this but there is no quick fix to this major problem. What you need to do is sit down with your wife and talk things over. You are doing the right thing by trying to rebuild your relationship outside of the bedroom before trying to fix things inside of the bedroom.

Some of the things that may affect the relationship are that she is taking care of the kids, doing the housework, and working at the same time --- thus she is probably too tired to have sex. If this is the case, help her around the house to make things easier for her. Another reason why some women don’t enjoy sex is because they don’t like the sensations of intercourse. This problem may be because she is dry when she has sex. To fix this you just need to use lube. If that is not it then you will want her to lead during any sexual activity you might have. Find out the things that she enjoys doing and work sex around these foreplay maneuvers. Go slowly and enjoy.

As for the quickie with other girls, it is not a long term solution to your problem. Take small steps to fix this problem and you will find the solution you are looking for.

Dear Dr. Foreplay,
I have been dating this 18 year old for about a year now and for some reason she cannot orgasm. This is a big blow to my ego since I was able to get all of my previous girlfriends to scream in ecstasy. Don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to brag, but these other girls were easy to please. I have tried everything on this girl: oral sex, stimulating positions, soft and slow sex, hard and wild sex, but nothing will make her come. I don’t mind putting in the time and I take pride in my sexual expertise, but what the hell is going on with this girl? What can I do to make this girl orgasm? Perhaps she can’t? Please give me some advice on this!

Signed,
No Orgasm

Dear No Orgasm,
What you need to know is if she is able to orgasm when she masturbates. If she is able to orgasm when she masturbates, then it is just a matter of time. If she can’t orgasm when she is alone then it is probably because she doesn’t know her body that well yet. Orgasms come with time and experience. The biggest reason why girls don’t orgasm is because they are either not comfortable with themselves or with their partners.

The best thing to do when it comes to making a girl orgasm is to use fingering and oral sex. Since the penis is not as flexible as your fingers or your tongue, it is easier to get a girl off by using oral sex or hand play. Devote an evening to her while you watch and learn how she touches herself. By watching her, all you have to do is mimic her actions to get her off.

Finally, you should realize that sex is not goal oriented. You don’t have to make a girl orgasm every time for her to enjoy sex. Women love the romance involved with sex and are not as preoccupied with coming like men are.

Dear Dr. Foreplay,My boyfriend seems to think that all women have bisexual tendencies. That is, if the situation is right, any girl would have sex with another girl. When I was in university, I was drinking and one of my girlfriends attempted to get intimate with me, but I just felt awkward with the situation. Why is it that men seem to think women can go bisexual at the snap of a finger? He does watch a lot of porn so I am thinking this is why. And what the hell is up with the two-girl one-guy fantasy? Is that what he is leading up to? I like men and that’s it. Period. How can I tell him that?

Signed,
Not Bisexual

Dear Not Bisexual,
The two-girl and one-guy fantasy ranks high with many men. It all stems from the their animalistic nature for multiple partners and to brag to friends that they are “good” in bed. The porn that he is watching isn’t helping either. Some men watch porn thinking that it is real, and every girl is like that.

If you want him to realize that bisexual tendancies don’t exist in all females, all you have to do is turn the tables on him. Tell him that if girls can go bisexual in a second then men should be able to as well.

Finally, you should sit down with him while he is watching porn and tell him what you like and what you don’t. From here he can differentiate between reality and fantasy.